Some days you just see weird things.

I had a very interesting day...

1. On my way to South Haven my attention was caught by a guy video taping himself cutting the lawn in a bikini and wearing bright red lipstick. I had to drive by again to make sure I wasn't going crazy. I was trying to discreetly capture a photo, but I wasn't successful (at being discreet or getting a photo).

2. On a moped ride I was stopped at an intersection and an Aztec was driving through the light and I swear there was no one driving it... or anyone at all in the car for that matter.

3. On the same moped ride I blew past a beat up doll head on the side of the road.

... and then I ran over a dead squirrel (yes, while I was riding the moped). That was gross.

I just want to eat, with some beeeeats!

Uh huh. You heard right. I added some beatz (and made a music video) to the song I wrote back in January (I just want to eat)...




I have had some requests for the song lyrics. In this video I only used the first verse and refrain (see below). Click here for the full lyrics.

Verse 1

When I hear the word “eat”

My ears touch the sky

Oh the glorious sound

I’m right at your feet

I just want to eat!

Refrain

It’s all that I am

It’s all that I want

I wait all day long

I love to eat! I just want to eat!

Midnight Donut Run

I am in the process of redoing a chair right now and spent the evening in my driveway sanding it down to bare wood. At one point during the rigorous sanding I randomly smelled a donut and, from that sniff on, was determined to hit up the local donut mill when I was done in order to fulfill my craving. That I did... but I ran into an obstacle on my journey home. Good thing I had a tasty, fresh mini apple fritter to keep me occupied because when I turned into my neighborhood, this is what I saw.


Only I would get stopped on my way back from a midnight donut run by a semi that is stuck sideways and blocking the entire road... I sat there for 3 minutes and the thing couldn't go forward or backward for anything. Don't those tires look super mini for a truck that size?! Just in case you're wondering, this is not the kind of street that semis travel on frequently, if ever, and usually no vehicles drive down this street past 10pm, so the chances of getting stuck at this hour are pretty slim.

Once I was done devouring the mini apple fritter I decided I should probably turn around and take a different route home. I wonder if it's still stuck...

Why you should accept my sister.

Dear Whomever Is Reading This Letter Of Recommendation,

I would like to recommend my sister, Carrie, for the Romance Languages program at your institution. Why, you ask? Well, where do I start... (I used bullet points so that you can clearly see the reasons).

1. She's a well-rounded person. Not only is she super smart, but she is hilarious and knows how to have fun. See exhibit A. This is an example of what she does in her spare time. (Don't worry, she doesn't really have rotten teeth. She has an entire mouthful of cavity free pearly whites).

Exhibit A

2. She is super creative and artsy. See exhibit 2. This is a photograph she composed.

Exhibit 2


3. She is honest.

She doesn't fart and pretend she didn't do it (like I do, I'll pull out a bottle of lotion and start spraying it everywhere)... she farts loud and proud!

4. She loves the farmers market. Come on now, have you ever met a person that loved the farmers market that wasn't incredibly awesome?

5. She plays the piano and might even write a song for you. She wrote a song for me, below are the lyrics:

"I loooooove YOU.... yes I DOooooooo. Yes I YES I DOOOOOOOOOOO!"

There are about 1,528 more reasons, but I should probably keep this to one page.

Thank you for your consideration. I just have to say that you would be SILLY not to accept her. SILLY SILLY SILLY.

Silly and Seriously Serious Sincere Regards,

Stephanie

Sometimes...

I just have no idea what people are saying...

You know those times when you cross paths with a stranger in the bathroom (for example) and they just start talking about random things and it's not really worth it to try and figure out exactly what is going on because you're almost done washing your hands anyway...? So you just give a friendly nod, maybe even a little "haha," and go about your way thinking, "What in the heck just happened??" I mean, I'm all about striking up conversations with strangers whenever I get the chance, but sometimes people just don't make sense.

Thanks for replacing my oatmeal (not)

I bought some bulk organic oatmeal at a local health food store a few weeks ago and noticed shortly after there were bugs flying around in it... so I obviously threw it away and... wala! The bugs were gone. I've been in the store twice now since and talked to a few people about it and all they say is "Haven't heard anything about that." "Hmmmm. Weird." No one apologizes, offers me a replacement or anything... so today I bought more oatmeal (from a different bin, of course), I said to the lady (after explaining what happened) ... "It would be great if you guys could replace it for me." She then proceeds to ring up the oatmeal, doesn't respond to me and I say "Welp, guess not."

Seriously?! They can't give me $1.38 worth of oatmeal or even really acknowledge that their food had bugs flying around in it? I just may never shop there again.

My question is... where was the library card??

I just read an article about a guy who walked to the library, buck naked.



Poor guy just wanted to take a weightless afternoon stroll in the fresh fall breeze and checkout a book from the local library in peace... for goodness sake! haha

The last line is hilarious to me for some reason...