Holy Mackerel!!!!! Look what I found!

I found this photo album at Papa and Makki's house this weekend. Remember when we put it together to make Makki laugh while she was in the hospital? This one will make you smile and laugh :)

I'm too anxious to be funny!

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I have been very, very busy getting ready to come see you! I have thought about ideas for funny things to post but my attention span has been, wait, what was I just saying?? You get the point. Can you believe that in 48 hours my plane will be landing in about 15 minutes (these numbers may change when you actually read this, it is 1:25 am here)? I can't believe how fast the time went. Oh man, I totally forgot what I was going to say again. This has been happening to me all week. The other day I was on my way to Northville and turned around to come home to get something and forgot what it was when I walked in the door! I am considering changing to Portugal time right now since I am up anyway... you know, get a head start so maybe I'll be sooo tired on the plane I'll be asleep before... before what? I don't know what I was saying. When I have something to look forward to and am extremely excited and anxious, I am pretty much worthless for a certain amount of time beforehand (usually it's only a few hours, but this one started early!) Good thing I made a checklist for myself when I was still sane, otherwise, I'd probably get on the plane without pants on or something like that! OK, I'm going to take a look at my checklist for the 340th time today so it can tell me what I should do next.

Your Long Lost Pal

The following post is from Craig's List and never ceases to make me laugh!

Subject: Seeking Bodyguard Named Betty

I am a Paul Simon fan in my mid thirties. As my name is Al, for the past 20 years I've been searching for a friend named Betty with whom I could sing the Paul Simon song "You Can Call Me Al." Imagine how much fun we could have singing along with the lyrics and pointing at each other when our names are mentioned! We could sing it together on road trips with the windows down, at home with our stereos cracked loud, we can smile at each other knowingly when it's played in gas stations and grocery stores and text each other when we're apart and it comes on the radio. I'm especially looking forward to acting out our own version of the classic Paul Simon Chevy Chase music video. We can post it on Youtube!

Just to be clear, I'm not really looking for a bodyguard (that's a lyric from the song haha!) just a friend named Betty.

If you want we could maybe sing other Paul Simon songs at some point but I'd really rather we stick with our namesakes You Can Call Me Al. Of course I want proof your name is really Betty so when we meet I'll need to see a state issued photo ID with that name. I'll also accept Elizabeth, Roberta or Beatrix.

Please write back soon I can't wait to hang out.

Sincerely
-Your long lost pal!!!

Turkey Leg

How to overcome embarrassment...???????

I found a book from the 80's in the trash today (aka awfullibrarybooks.net) called Overcoming Clumsiness. How this book didn't become a best seller, I just cannot comprehend. I tried the valuable tip on page 21 and fluttered through the aisles of Meijer wearing a turkey mask while people were doing their last minute grocery shopping for the big turkey day tomorrow. For some reason I just felt even more embarrassed... maybe next time I'll wear a Peter Nielson mask.



*If you can't read it, it says "Masks are good for overcoming embarrassment. Try playing the person the mask depicts."

Scratch and Sniff

"Go ahead, scratch the Carolina Chickadee. It's my favorite! Betch y'all never seen one of these. It's a one of a kind scratch and sniff bird poop shirt. Snatched it up from Wild Birds Etc. in 1992. Easy now, only one scratch... don't wanna wear it out now."








P.S. I seriously had this shirt when I was a kid and I seriously told people it was scratch and sniff.

Ohhhhhhhhh!

It's been way too long since we've watched this video... so, I figured I'd pull it out, dust it off, and play it (on repeat) while I am decorating my house for the holidays. It is just in time with a mighty fine Christmas tune. Just listen to that harmony!

You Fancy!

I stayed at this hotel last night and it just made me want to say, "Ohhhhh, you fancayyyyy!!!!"

Good morning, Carrie!

You asked me a few months ago to send you a funny email to read every morning, so I have created a blog dedicated to fulfilling your request to make you, and whoever else wants to follow it, laugh every morning. Huh.... huh....... Enjoy and laugh lots!