Physical Activity and Avoiding Late Fees

Adam and I went for a run today and decided to multi-task and return a movie at the same time. Neither of us wanted to carry it for almost 2 miles, so this was his solution.




After we returned the movie, I wanted to bring a grapefruit home from the store, but he refused to tape the grapefruit on him during the run back.

I hope my readers like cats as much as I do.

This is Winston.

My sister asked if he was part Bobcat today... haha what?? Seriously. Bobcat??

How to make a fart box.

OK, so you're probably wondering, what exactly is a fart box? It is an innovative device that I designed when I was 5 years old. It basically turns terrible smelling gas into something a bit... prettier. How does it work, you ask? Well, the fart travels through the device and out through a scented dryer sheet. Here's how you can make one:

1. Find a tissue box. Choose one with a fun design to make it even more fashionable!


2. Cut the bottom of the box off, and leave about a 1" border.



3. Make 2 holes on either side of the box, toward the bottom and tie strings or ribbons (long enough to go around your waist) through both of the holes.


4. Staple or tape a scented dryer sheet over the hole on the top of the box. Arm & Hammer Mountain Rain smells pretty darn good. Each dryer sheet should be good for up to 100 farts.


5. Strap that baby on and fart away! Just simply tie around your waist.


6. Personalize your fart box. Add some bling, jewels, or stickers. Write your name, or the name of your fart box, in puffy paint. Fart box charms would be really cool too. Here is what I did. His name is Marvin. I gave him a mustache, suspenders, and a set of headphones. He's listening to "She Drives Me Crazy" by The Fine Young Cannibals.

Jacob Maurice

My cat. He likes to sit like a person. I have a really great video of him sitting like that with his tail in between his hind legs and wagging it back and forth, but I can't find it!





And these photos are from when he was skinny!

When your roommates are unruly...

... just give them a friendly citation.

If you have a roommate that deserves a citation, I would be happy to fill one of these out for you. I charge $1.22 per citation, which, I personally feel, should be billed to the person receiving it. In that case, let's make it $105.


*Click on the image if you need to view a larger version

Just because...

This fabulous picture wasn't included with my post the other day and, since it is Carrie's favorite, I wanted to give her the ability to view it anytime she pleases.

Disclaimer: DO NOT use this photo for invitations, posters, balloons, cake frosting, t-shirts, stick on tattoos or anything of the like for my 30th birthday. It is forbidden.


And, even though I know it will be extremely tempting, definitely DO NOT make a pair of custom Ked's shoes out of it.

6 dreams for my workplace (for now)

I have a dream for my workplace that one day...

1. People will actually acknowledge me when I say "Hello."


2. The automatic lights will stop turning off every hour and I won't have to wave my hands for 10 minutes to turn them back on.

3. I won't have to park a mile away because people will park INSIDE the yellow lines.


4. I will be able to print something, ANYTHING, from my computer.

The typical conversation goes like this and the outcome is always the same...

Me: "Hey, the printer isn't working for me." Response: "Well, it should be working." Me: "It's not and hasn't been for 8 months." Response: "Have you added the new network?" Me: "Yes, several times, but that doesn't seem to be the problem." Response: " Well, it should be working."

5. Someone will care enough to finally give me an office phone that works.

"Hello?" ... crackle, crackle, crackle .... "Hi, this is Stepha" ... crackle, crackle, crackle...

6. The front desk assistants will do their jobs.