Physical Activity and Avoiding Late Fees

Adam and I went for a run today and decided to multi-task and return a movie at the same time. Neither of us wanted to carry it for almost 2 miles, so this was his solution.




After we returned the movie, I wanted to bring a grapefruit home from the store, but he refused to tape the grapefruit on him during the run back.

I hope my readers like cats as much as I do.

This is Winston.

My sister asked if he was part Bobcat today... haha what?? Seriously. Bobcat??

How to make a fart box.

OK, so you're probably wondering, what exactly is a fart box? It is an innovative device that I designed when I was 5 years old. It basically turns terrible smelling gas into something a bit... prettier. How does it work, you ask? Well, the fart travels through the device and out through a scented dryer sheet. Here's how you can make one:

1. Find a tissue box. Choose one with a fun design to make it even more fashionable!


2. Cut the bottom of the box off, and leave about a 1" border.



3. Make 2 holes on either side of the box, toward the bottom and tie strings or ribbons (long enough to go around your waist) through both of the holes.


4. Staple or tape a scented dryer sheet over the hole on the top of the box. Arm & Hammer Mountain Rain smells pretty darn good. Each dryer sheet should be good for up to 100 farts.


5. Strap that baby on and fart away! Just simply tie around your waist.


6. Personalize your fart box. Add some bling, jewels, or stickers. Write your name, or the name of your fart box, in puffy paint. Fart box charms would be really cool too. Here is what I did. His name is Marvin. I gave him a mustache, suspenders, and a set of headphones. He's listening to "She Drives Me Crazy" by The Fine Young Cannibals.

Jacob Maurice

My cat. He likes to sit like a person. I have a really great video of him sitting like that with his tail in between his hind legs and wagging it back and forth, but I can't find it!





And these photos are from when he was skinny!

When your roommates are unruly...

... just give them a friendly citation.

If you have a roommate that deserves a citation, I would be happy to fill one of these out for you. I charge $1.22 per citation, which, I personally feel, should be billed to the person receiving it. In that case, let's make it $105.


*Click on the image if you need to view a larger version

Just because...

This fabulous picture wasn't included with my post the other day and, since it is Carrie's favorite, I wanted to give her the ability to view it anytime she pleases.

Disclaimer: DO NOT use this photo for invitations, posters, balloons, cake frosting, t-shirts, stick on tattoos or anything of the like for my 30th birthday. It is forbidden.


And, even though I know it will be extremely tempting, definitely DO NOT make a pair of custom Ked's shoes out of it.

6 dreams for my workplace (for now)

I have a dream for my workplace that one day...

1. People will actually acknowledge me when I say "Hello."


2. The automatic lights will stop turning off every hour and I won't have to wave my hands for 10 minutes to turn them back on.

3. I won't have to park a mile away because people will park INSIDE the yellow lines.


4. I will be able to print something, ANYTHING, from my computer.

The typical conversation goes like this and the outcome is always the same...

Me: "Hey, the printer isn't working for me." Response: "Well, it should be working." Me: "It's not and hasn't been for 8 months." Response: "Have you added the new network?" Me: "Yes, several times, but that doesn't seem to be the problem." Response: " Well, it should be working."

5. Someone will care enough to finally give me an office phone that works.

"Hello?" ... crackle, crackle, crackle .... "Hi, this is Stepha" ... crackle, crackle, crackle...

6. The front desk assistants will do their jobs.

The advantages and sad truths of working from home.

Most people go to Panera or the lunch room for break... this is what I do.






OK, back to work now!

2 of the 1,532 reasons why my boyfriend is so cool.

Number 1: He pretends that the power is out with me, even when it came back on 5 hours before. We didn't buy a lantern for nothin'!

*Cooking soup on the stove by the light of a lantern (pretending the power was still out didn't include not using the stove or furnace).

*Playing backgammon by the fire. Yes, that is a headlamp that he wore all night. By the way, I won.

Number 2: He happily helps me get my car out after I've gotten it stuck in a snow bank at the bottom of my driveway because I was driving too fast (the picture with my car perpendicular to my driveway is when he got it stuck trying to fix my mess).

I think it's time to buy an immersion blender!

When am I ever going to learn my lesson when it comes to heat combustion and blender explosions? I made potato soup tonight and started blending it in batches immediately after pulling it off the stove (so, in other words, it was boiling). SO, I'm on the third batch, the first two weren't pushing the top of the blender too badly because I guess I hadn't filled it too much, but then I get to the third batch and wasn't holding on to the lid as tight as I should have (apparently got too confident) and it exploded EVERYWHERE, including in my eyeball. So, I screamed bloody murder and thought my eye was going to melt or my contact was going to melt IN my eye. Well, it didn't melt and neither did my contact, but it was throbbing for about 20 minutes and I had to clean up the huge mess I made.

I decided that I am the female version of Tim the Toolman Taylor... keeps life interesting I guess.

Who might this hottie be??

(P.S. It's Carrie)

That just narrowed us down to one...

I know I am not keeping with the theme I set for the week, but it has been a very long day and although I would love to re-read through all of our emails, I don't think I can look at my computer screen any longer tonight! I know this video is sure to make you laugh!

Spanish Milk Drink

To continue my theme of the best emails sent between Carrie and I in 2010...

An email from Carrie 10/26/10

Here's a story from last night... I went over to my friend's apartment to study for our art history midterm that we have tomorrow, and there was a whole big group of us there. We decided at 11 that we were going to stop studying and head to the bar across the street for a drink. It's called Chapandaz but most people call it "The Cave Bar", and they have stalagmytes and stalactites coming down from the ceilings and drinks come out of them! So we go over, me with my tennis shoes, leggings, and backpack and do a tequila shot. Then my friend orders this milk drink which is SO cold and delicious and refreshing. It costs 10 euros though and I didn't want to buy an entire one for myself, so I just decided not to get it. Then, more of our friends join us and it was one of the guys birthday, so we all decide to pitch in 5 euros and go in on a HUGE bowl of this milk drink. WELL, it must be in our genes or something because I think I drank most of it on my own. Then I realized I should probably take my backpack off and show everyone how I can do the coffee grinder breakdance move.... good thing I was wearing my tennis shoes. It was a blast. Unfortunately when I got to school today everyone was asking me how I was feeling because apparently word got around. Oops! I feel fine though, really!

Sometimes emails just need to be re-read

I'm dedicating this week to the best emails sent between Carrie and I in 2010. This one is an email from my Dad that I forwarded to Carrie. I was asking his opinion on a camera I was looking to purchase.

Hi Fluff,

Canon Rebel is always a safe bet and I looked at the features which are multiple including some video ability which is pretty cool and the body style is nearly identical to mine plus the lense looks like it's at least the quality of mine and the 18.0 megapixel will render terrific resolution while claiming to work well in low light which can be a problem that comes up often especially if you decide that you want to take pictures of Jake at 4 a.m. while he is in the litter box and making so much noise that you can't sleep so you have to get up and feed him and then stay awake until it's time to go to work. Bummer. Other than that, I have no comment.

Love
Dad

Bloody Mary

What's your best caption??

One of my favorite comedians, Daniel Tosh, was having a contest on his website yesterday to see who could come up with the best caption for this picture. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline to submit my own caption, so I decided to post it on here! (I know, it's kind of dorky)

The Florida Keys has a new a new island, Grand Piano Key.

Flight Delay Frustrations

My friend, Amanda, right after we found out our flight was delayed and would cause us to miss our next flight to Sacramento.

Who needs windows anyway?

Looks like this gas station car wash needs to win the lottery!

Dancing Coca-Cola Bear

I gave the Coca-Cola bear a few high fives, got a picture with him (that I forgot to pick up), and he broke out some pretty cool dance moves! Amazing.

How to cut in line at the airport.

*Click on image to view a larger size.